Dear Becky,
I send my love and compassion for the grief that you and your family are going through. I am deeply grieving having been a close friend. I cannot imagine the overwhelm of loss for you.
I am sitting here trying to gather some thoughts in a cohesive way. So many memories have been flooding up. They all have a similar theme to them and it is so difficult to grasp. There is a strength, heartfelt righteousness and depth of humanness to Oleta’s connection to all she held dear to her… a humanness in its nakedness that was ever accepting of all life as being important, unique connected… the planet and all of its beings. She did not hold herself ever above anyone or hold them above her. All was on an equal playing field and the rules of living were based in this depth of strength and love of life, honor and respect. If that wasn’t there then there was a mission to change the injustice or lack of what were basic rights and needs of being fully alive. Her passion for life and her place in it was clear whether in her garden, gathering with her friends and family (which were also her family), fighting for what is just (Women Against Rape, etc.), or being involved in a pow wow or the opera. She had a deep understanding of aesthetics and beauty crossing gender, race class, cultures. I remember taking her to the opera “Madame Butterfly” and knew that she would get so involved in the story and the texture of her favorite opera that there would be no way to stop her from cussing out Pinkerton in the 2nd balcony front row of the San Francisco Opera House. ” Fuck you Pinkerton!” sailed through the opera house as if it was the most natural thing in the world for her to say. Only a few heads turned, but most people smiled. I also remember sitting one of the many times in bed with Oleta chatting and she told me ” There are people who come to this world to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.” So beautifully said and lived! She lived her life with depth and as her heart directed with a depth of soulfullness and humanness and strength in love that, I think, few people can embody let alone mirror in a fashion to those she touched so that they could see, honor and respect those qualities in themselves and others.
I hope this helps you out. Your mother was an amazing mentor to all those she touched without ever knowing how deeply she affect us. And if she did know her humbleness was profound for it was her destiny in this life. What a beautiful gift!
Love, Khita Austin